Hello Everyone! It has been a really long time since I last blogged and I didn’t realised how blogging actually helps me speak to my inner self and reflect about a lot of things.
When I first started blogging, I was only in primary school and guess what? I’m in my third year of university and I’ll be graduating in a few months’ time. I guess I’ve been pretty much the same? Still very opinionated and probably stubborn with my own thinkings.
Many things have happened the past two years. Accepting the departure of people who I love, be it temporarily or eternally. It never occur to me that childhood trauma is something that we neglect a lot in our lives. The fear of being abandoned and having to face separation. Unable to express ourselves probably through words cause we our feelings were constantly getting dismissed.
I wished that children in this generation would grow up in a healthier environment where parents have better access to resources online. I never realised how bad I was at communication until one day someone pointed it out. Instead of trying to communicate calmly, sharing about what I think, I reacted defensively. Growing up from a traditional Asian family, I never had got the chance to explain myself and before I knew it, I had to defend myself and the conclusion was just “You’re so rude talking back to me. I’m your parent.”
I hope that future parents would listen to their child and give them the basic respect as a human and not demand to be respected just cause you birthed them. Even as toddler, you’ll feel hurt and you don’t actually know how to sort yourselves out. It’s important to ask the right question and comprehend before reprimanding or giving advices.
I understand that parents don’t have an instruction manual and I definitely don’t blame my parents. Instead, I reflect a lot and think about what kind of person I want to be, these childhood trauma don’t define who I am, neither would it stop me from becoming who I want to be.
When I was younger, I had a lot of friends but I felt lonely. Even though I do feel alone now, but I’m glad to have a handful of friends who I can confide in and I didn’t feel as lonely. Eventually, we got to accept that we are all meant to be alone and we don’t rely on others for our happiness.
In recent years, I learnt to listen to myself and accept that sometimes, things just does not work out, neither does it go the way we hoped that it did. But it’s okay, that’s part of life. Acceptance and adapting to the situation.
Alright I’m reaching my destination and I’ll edit again when I’m feeling it! Till next time!