Growing up, do you feel that you've lesser friends as time goes by? It felt like everyone seems to just be a tourist. They would "travel" into your life for a while, and you'd only see them on social media. Looking back, I did had a lot of friends growing up. My phone was constantly ringing with notifications. I had to top up my SIM card once every few days cause I texted so much and back then, each text costs $0.05 and nobody would send one text with 3 words just like how we are so used to typing on WhatsApp. Everything felt different back then.
Although it is a pity that eventually, everyone would somewhat drift apart due to our schedules. Some might be still studying, while some has started working, and some who are still figuring out or even started their own family. I used to see my friends everyday in school but now, we meet once a quarter to celebrate birthdays. Even though we did not get to meet so often, but once we got together, everything still felt the same. We would gossip about the same few people and share surprising news about our schoolmates who somehow got together, or even broke up.
Personally, I felt that I actually hold grudges. If I know that A's personality does not go in-line with mine, I would gradually drift away and would not bother making any effort in the friendship. I think this is a way that I protect myself from getting hurt and I felt happy ever since I started doing that. Rather than having to compromise just to fit in, a handful of close friends suited me better.
I do wonder if I had put a little more effort in those friendships that I did not managed to build, would things be different now? But I'm happy for the memories that were created while we were once close. In the adult world, friendships are a result of each others' effort. If I would've texted you, but you did not bother to reply me, that would be the end of the conversation. If I did not reach out and initiate to meet, I might not even get to see my friends either. It's important to stay with people that reciprocates and understand you. It's fine even if we took a rain check but eventually still rearrange another day to make time for each other.
I believe that some friendships can become rather materialistic too and not everybody would be comfortable with that. It is important to set boundaries and speak comfortably. Rather than receiving presents, my small group of friends would prefer to chit chat over a good meal and that's more important than getting a gift. Time is the most precious gift.
I hope that everyone would eventually find a place where they feel comfortable in and you can just be yourself instead of trying really hard to get accepted.